Tuesday, June 5, 2018

How to save the world.

I've often been misunderstood. It can feel very alienating, even from the people I'm closest to. Misunderstood ... That's an understatement. But I bet, if I asked 100 people, 100 people would say the same thing. Can we really all be misunderstood? Maybe it's us that misunderstands everything else. Maybe we don't have to. Let's dig in. Let's connect.

I took a long hard break from blogging. And I can't promise I'll get into it full-swing again. But, today I had a challenge, and I felt the need to write on the internet. Not in my journal, where it would stay nice and safe and protected. But out into the world of cyberspace and eventually into the hands that were meant to read the words. There are no coincidences. You and I are meeting on this page for a reason, and I embrace it and honor it.

A year and a half ago, I had a health crisis that I wasn't sure I'd make it out of. I don't talk much of it, and I am the only person who knows the depths of it. Because, it's not important now. What's important, is that it caused me to really search outside the box. I felt death gripping parts of my body, one by one. Nobody else took it seriously because they didn't understand, even doctors (dozens of them), so I kept it mostly inside. I became a hermit, and I quit my job. I couldn't do much of anything. I was too tired and in too much pain. When you feel your body dying, you know it. Out of desperation, I turned to fruit (and an angel on earth, Dr. Robert Morse) to save me. And that's where I began to find myself.

I went from this ... 
To this, in a matter of months. My face, neck and lymph nodes were swollen and oozing. I had no energy or life in me. 

Fruit vibrations heal!
Fruit is a vibration. Fact. It's full of life force and energy that can (and does) change your own vibration to begin to resonate at a level closer to nature. When we start vibrating closer to nature, we naturally heal. It's really that simple. Eating bowls of fruit was essentially performing surgery on my cells, organs and (eventually) my very soul. Fruit began a journey within myself that no other diet (raw vegan, paleo, ketogenic, SAD) was ever able to do. After 30 days of a fruit only diet, I regained all (plus some) of my strength, energy and vitality and most of my health. I found myself wanting nothing to do with television, Facebook, the news, or much else that the rest of the world was distracted in. There was no explanation for it. It just felt natural to listen to what I needed in this way. I went to bed with the sun and woke up with the sun. I turned off screens and turned inward. I wondered if I'd ever be able or willing to re-establish myself in society. Guided meditations became my go-to in every free moment. Eventually, I craved the silence. And silent meditation became my best friend. In a matter of months, I was able to close my eyes and instantly go inward to a place of peace, where I found I could connect with Source, the life-force for everything.


Raising my vibration became my obsession. It felt so good. But, like any obsession, it can overtake your life. Finding balance was my next goal. That's when I found the Isha Foundation and took their course in Inner Engineering. After 4 days of learning asanas and kriyas that opened blocked energies in me and allowed me to connect to the parts of me, I never knew existed, I felt alive and ready to integrate for the first time in so so long. It gave me the tools I needed to face others and to be okay with being misunderstood. I didn't feel the need to show a facade to the world. I stopped wearing make-up, bras and an attitude.

Issa Foundations Inner Engineering Program by Sadhguru. Life changing!

In mediation for 2 hours a day ... I kept going. The layers peeled off, as I slowly allowed myself to become who I truly am, a part of the divine energy that is all. No longer did I look at a tree and say "That's a tree." I began to look at a tree and feel it as an extension of myself, and myself as an extension of the tree. The grass under my feet felt as though it was part of my feet. That it was there to serve me and I was there to serve it. That we were an integral part of each other's existence. There was no me without it, there was no it without me. And that line didn't stop at grass. I became the clouds and birds and air and water and ... even the people I disagreed with. We were all one, just operating at different frequencies on the same plane.



The separation that keeps us all at war and battling others opinions on social media began to show itself to me. Rather, the "separation" began to drop away. And I realized that there is no separation that is there, other than what our ego places between us. Opinions that upset me became an experiential dive into myself. What inside myself is being triggered by the object upsetting my ego? And instead of fighting back (fight or flight was my absolute go-to for 40 years), I found I was repairing the very bits of myself that resisted others. To repair, you have to apologize, forgive, give love and be grateful. My approach to others who triggered me became this practice in my mind, "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." How people reacted to me changed. All my relationships improved. Not one single thing in my life changed, other than my reaction and understanding of and to all that surrounded me. My job hasn't changed, yet it's not a source of crippling stress anymore. My marriage is the same, yet my home is much happier. And I realize, all that exists is within myself. All that I touch, feel, hear and see is a manifestation of my own creation.



Just in giving myself love and allowing to finally dive into this connectivity, I have changed myself, my home, my work, my relationships. This self love has grown outside myself and onto others. And I now truly understand that the only way to improve this world, to heal it, to master it, to be one with it, to find peace in it, is to work on yourself in a loving, gentle and natural manner. When we allow the natural vibration of ourselves to break through the sociological conditioning of our ego, we become the essence of peace and love. Of course, high vibrational foods (lots of raw fruits, veggies, seeds, greens), sunshine, distilled water (decalcify that pineal) can and does move this along quite rapidly. Going vegan was the greatest gift I've ever given myself and the planet. Perhaps it wasn't even the fruit, and it was just going vegan that allowed me to connect so magically to this source energy and truthful existence. Regardless of what brought me to this place, I'm grateful. And gratitude manifests great change. And from here, we can alter the very existence of the entire planet, together.