Monday, August 24, 2015

Love. True Love. Hate. Divinity.

Sometimes I get stuck on a thought that plagues me for weeks on end. This is the case with the contents of this blog post today.

c Tantric Transformation, by Osho
I've been thinking a heck of a lot about love lately. What does love mean? Can it change? How do we define it? It all started when a friend of mine mentioned something about "true love" vs. just plain old "love". And this got my mind rolling. What is true love? And how is it different from "love"? I've come to this conclusion:

There is ONLY true love.

Love cannot be created nor destroyed. It's unwavering and unchangeable. It is fathomless and infinite. But it is also a choice. You cannot fall in and out of love. And this is where there are gray areas.

I think a lot of people get confused between "love" and "passion". I think that both take chemistry between two people. I do believe that, many times, we feel this chemistry because we are threaded beyond this current body and into our past bodies. Passion almost always dies. It can come back, but it will die again. Passion is something that you have to keep reviving. Passion is the "spark" that many confuse as "love". Passion is also what can easily lead to "hate". Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite of love. Hate is passion turned ugly. Love is always love.

I've had a couple starter relationships where I was "sure" I was in love, but I was actually just "in passion". And I've had other relationships where I was actually "in love". And, in fact, I still am. Every real ex I have, I still consider a friend, and I still love them. Maybe it's because I'm not capable of killing off my love for others. Whether it's a romantic love or a platonic love, every person I've ever loved, I still love to this day. And I will love them infinitely. That might make some uncomfortable to hear. But it's who I am and how I practice love. When a committed relationship dies, it doesn't kill the love. It just means that it wasn't the kind of love that can commit to a live-in relationship "till death do us part". True love always wants what is best for the other person, as well as what's best for themselves.

Our wedding, 2009, USVI
I waited until I was 33 before I decided to marry my husband and love him forever. I knew full well that passion would come and go, but we would have to work on it to keep it alive. I knew that there were going to be times when I wanted to leave, and that piece of paper signified a choice I made that would make me stay. I knew that one does not "fall in love" but, rather, "rises in love". I knew that love was a CHOICE. And that I choose, every day, to love my husband. There is not one thing that can break that. When you realize and worship what love truly is and means, then you will no longer fall "in and out" of it. You can't. You can't because that's not what love is. You can't just turn it off.

It's really that simple.

I went to a wedding officiated by the Troubadours of Divine Bliss, who I love dearly. Something they said struck a chord, and I realized this is something that's missing from every other wedding ceremony I've ever witnessed. They said that you don't marry someone to complete a part of yourself that's missing. You marry someone to share your best assets with that person. They said it much more eloquently, but, if we all went into relationships knowing this truth, practicing this truth, then the foundation of the relationships would be of incredible strength.

Last night, at the end of my son's first day as a 5 year old, he told me that he would still love me when he was 99 years old. And I told him that my body wouldn't be here then, but I would love him just the same. He was confused. And I explained that our soul lives in our body. And that the soul lives forever, but the body cannot. And that the body will die, but when mine dies, my soul will still be with him, and he can tell my soul that he loves me. I explained that, since he chose me as his mommy, that our souls are now entwined forever and ever. And that bond can never be broken. And he said, "mommy, you're my soul love." And I knew that he got it. And I know that he will love forever, just as I do. Just as we all should. And this reminded me of a quote from one of the Troubadours of Divine Bliss' songs,
"You're sewn seamlessly as strands of stars into my soul. I will never search near or far, wish upon anything because you are."
Love is the divine, seeking to share their divinity.

-Steph

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